Tag Archives: birthday

It’s that time of year again

March is not my favourite month.  It used to host two birthdays – mother and grandmother – and has Mothering Sunday, or Mothers’ Day, in it.  My grandmother left us a very long time ago so the pain has subsided but not gone.  Mum’s birthday,  which has just gone, is more difficult.  My dear sister, who feels the same way, wondered why her birthday is so much more difficult to get through than the date of mum’s passing.  I think I know.

Once a year, we are reminded that a very special person is no longer with us and that this is the date she left.  However, that is relatively recent in terms of our whole lives.  Birthdays were another thing.  From the moment that we were able to understand, we were making or buying cards and presents to give to her.  Every year was a renewed flurry of finding a suitable card and a new way to surprise her with a gift; whether it was adorning her with a pair of earrings in her preferred marcasite or taking her out for a meal at her favourite eatery, it would always give us as much pleasure as it gave her.  Years and years of that are very difficult to brush away along with the tears.

Mothers’ Day is as bad, in its own way.  There is so much advertising that it’s hard to turn a corner without seeing some ad that is encouraging you to buy chocolates, flowers or some other token that you should have been thinking about all year, if she matters that much to you.

So, after all this time, I have decided to turn my dread of the month into a celebration.  This is the last year I will look at the Mothers’ Day cards and wish I had someone to send one to.  It’s the last year I will crawl up to her birthday and hold my breath until it’s passed.  It’s the last year I will wallow in the question of why she’s no longer here.  Instead I will take the opportunity to focus on the best she represented;  love, family, good values and strength, all of which she helped to instil in us, and which we have now (hopefully) instilled in our own families.  It has to be better that way.

Journey to a New Life – Part Nine (Birthdays)

So today we are celebrating the first of our birthdays since we moved here.  It was mostly just like any other birthday, apart from the fact that cards are still on their way due to not really knowing how long these things take, in reality, to make the trip.  Some did arrive, however, and were there on the breakfast table awaiting the recipient’s arrival.  Just today, of course, she decided to sleep until midday.  Actually sleep.  So we had to wait quite a while for The Ceremony of the Opening of the Cards.  There was another hold-up whilst the Birthday Girl had a Skype call with her brother and then one more whilst she ate breakfast.  To be honest, it was mostly the cup of coffee, but Special Birthday Breakfast was also there – steak, mushrooms, toast and coddled eggs (thanks again BIL).

It’s rather grounding, having a birthday in the house so soon after moving in.  The whole thing has been such an adventure that it took something as normal as this to make me realise that we are home.  It still seems a bit of a dream or an extended holiday, but this is it.  Soon it will be Christmas, then New Year and into the next cycle of birthdays and we’ll still be here.  For now, we’ll head out for that meal tonight at our favourite restaurant and …

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